pineapple
by Ladykatsa8
Summary: When Natasha Romanoff has an accident outside of work, Tony stark won't let her forget it. But when one of his jokes goes wrong, the avengers team decides he needs to grow up... at least until things cool down.
1. Chapter 1

This story might be a bit messy but stay with me, its my first time.

Natasha Romanoff needed a break. She had gotten back from her latest mission on Sunday and was free for the next month. The boys, her fellow avengers were seated on the couch trying to explain Wifi to captain america and Thor but weren't exactly doing the best job. Cap was looking bored and Thor was looking, as usual, delighted at all the "magic" they had in this world. Natasha thumped across the living room and tony demanded with a smirk,

"Off to go feed the homeless?"

"No" she replied cooly "Im going to go do some god damed shopping after all the crap I've had to put up with, is that okay with you Iron Ass?"

"Woah!" He exclaimed raising his hands in the air. "I was just wondering."

"Im sorry, guys but I'm sick of killing all week, in-fact I've been around more dead that living" she said grumpily. She stormed past them before they could reply.

#####

At her favorite smoothie shop, Natasha had calmed down a bit and was feeling guilty about her outbirst. She accepted her smooth from the waitress and left the café. She sat down at the local park witch she adored because it was always empty and perfect for quiet time. She started to chug her smoothie, thankful for the cool liquid on the hot summer day. All of sudden she couldn't breathe and was coughing like mad, She reached for her phone and called the first person who popped up. Thor answered with

"Natasha!" But she cut him off

"Need *cough, help *cough" As her vision started to blur she blacked out

#####

The other avengers watched as Thor put his phone down, his face bewildered.

"What's happening?" Cap asked with worry at the sight of Thor's face.

"She was coughing and I believe she demanded for our assistance." Tony snatched the phone from Thor and said,

"Jarvis, play back The most recent call to this phone." The Avengers listened to Natasha"s struggle. Tony spoke after the playback,

"Jarvis, where is Natasha?"

"I have traced Natasha Romanoff to Green Willow park." the robot said. and they all stood up in unison.

"Ill get the first aid kit." Bruce said, and Tony called for Pepper to bring around the car.

They arrived at the park and Clint was the first one ran to her collapsed body and was joined by the others in an instant. Her face was covered in hives and her hands were still wrapped around her neck. Bruce took a look at her smoothie cup on the ground and put some of the liquid on a cannon swab and inserted if into a fancy medical computer he had,

"Jarvis, what are the food components on that swab?" He demanded. The robot began a very thorough list,

"Mango, Kale, Lettuce, Strawberry, Apple, Pineapple..." But Clint cut him off.

"PINEAPPLE?!" He thought aloud. "crap crap crap!" He pulled a needle out of his sock and plunged it into her shoulder. She began to cough and Clint sat down beside her cradling her head in his lap. Her eyes opened and she sat up abruptly.

"Better Tasha?" He asked.

"I freaking HATE pinapple." was her weak response.


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry that I didn't add this in the first chapter: I do not own any of the marvel or avengers characters._

It took about ten minutes for Natasha to get off the ground and when she finally did she turned to Clint and said,

"You keep an epi pen in your sock?"

"C'mon Natasha, we all knew you wouldn't keep one with you." Clint replied quiety. "Plus, you totally owe me now." He joked

"I'd say I totally owe you but remember that time in North Korea, I believe you were blindfolded, tied to a chair, that was chained to the floor and had handcuffs around your ankles and wrists. I also believe that I killed all of the drug dealers, and brought one back to interrogate... all the while dragging your unconscious ass to the helicopter... need I say more?" The other avengers took one look at the look on Clint's face and hurried to get them to the car before anyone could get hurt... or maimed for that matter.

############

"The most amazing assassin who gets taken down by a pineapple?!" Tony was using this opportunity to annoy Natasha. "I mean like seriously, she can fight fifty men at once armed with nothing, she can infiltrate an entire company while interrogating someone but all it takes is a pineapple to bring her down! Thats a big disappointment to the children of the world." Suddenly a knife lodged itself into the wall that tony was leaning on right above his head, cutting off a bit of his hair in the process. two more appeared on each side of his head. Natasha stormed upstairs and slammed the door to her room so loudly that the others could hear it from the common room.

"What was that all about!?" Tony demanded while gingerly moving his head off the wall. He looked around the now deserted common room. "Guys? Bruce?" But there was no response.

############

The next week, while Natasha was getting ready, there was a knock on her door. She opened it only to find a dozen roses in front of her door with no one in sight. She picked up the bouquet and read the tag: From a secret _admirer._ She sighed and tossed the roses onto her bed hoping that whoever this admirer was, he would just give up.

############

The following week, there was another knock on her door. Outside there was a little red box and when she opened it she saw a small bag filled with tiny chocolate balls. She gasped, they look just like the one she used to buy in Russia! She put the bag in her purse and walked out the door.

She had a brunch meeting with some SHEILD person and it was way to nice to drive so she walked. On the way to the restaurant she enjoyed the beautiful trees on the bike path and smelled the fragrent spring air. She popped a handful of chocolates in her mouth savoring their sweetness.

 _Sophia POV:_

The words kept running through her head _, "Natasha Romanoff is walking right behind me."_ Natasha was her hero, her idol and if she weren't so socially awkward she would probably try and talk to her but Sophia knew she'd say something totally dumb and embarrassing. She kept walking sneaking glances over her shoulder at the superhero. She turned around one last time and saw Natasha on the ground, clutching at her neck and coughing. She rushed over and did the one thing anyone should do when in this situation, she began procedure.

"Are you choking?"

"*cough No *cough"

Sophia opened Natasha's purse and saw the epi pen in the bottom, underneath the loaded pistol. She held it up in front of the super spy and she nodded vigorously. After reading the most confusing directions ever, she injected the woman with the serum. Natasha took a long gasp of air when it worked her magic.

"Here, let me help you up." Sophia said.

"Can I ask you a very large request?" Natasha asked

"Of course, you're kind of my hero and idol so yeah! Sure!"

"Would you mind helping me back to the avengers tower?"

"Of course! I know where it is!"

"Thank you..."

"Sophia"

"Oh, thank you Sophia"

"If you don't mind my asking, what are you allergic to?"

Natasha sighed and responded "Pineapple." She waited for the other girl to laugh but she never did.

"Oh, that's unfortunate. Why did you eat pineapple?"

"Well this morning a secret admirer left chocolates outside my door that looked just like the ones I used to buy in Russia. I didn't check for pineapple because what kind of freak likes chocolate covered pineapple?"

"You were either pranked by some asshole, or this person is really bad with women and was just trying to make you happy." Sophia guessed and Natasha laughed. With one hand supporting Natasha and the other holding her purse the two girls walked back to the tower.

They arrived in the avengers common room hoping to find it empty but with no such luck. All the avengers were playing Mario Kart and sharing a huge bowl of all turned to look at Natasha who at this point was leaning on Sophia who was trying desperately not to fall over.

"Natasha." Sophia squeaked. "Im gonna fall over." Sophia helped her sit down on the couch.

"Oh my god Tasha, what the hell happened." Clint asked and she told her the story of her secret admirer and the chocolates.

"I think I know who the culprit is." Sophia said and she whispered something to Natasha who grinned.

"STARK!" Natasha yelled. "I have a punishment for you sir."

"You, you have no proof!" Tony shot back.

"I will when I'm finished with you." and Tony gulped.

In the gym the avengers gathered around Tony who was standing in the fighting ring. Natasha spoke from her seat on the floor.

"Based on my condition, I'm not going to deliver the punishment, but I might finish you off tomorrow." Tony looked like he was going to pass out. Pepper Potts walked into the room and took one look at Tony and burst out laughing.

"Thank god Pepper, Look what they're doing to me!"

"Pepper already knows, and is here to see your punishment." Natasha said with a sneer. "So the question is who will do it?"

"Could I give it a shot?" Sophia asked quietly.

"You shure?"

"Definitely. Weapons or no?"

"Ummm, no we don't want to kill him, just break him." Tony's eyes widened at that statement. Sophia took off her loose sweater to reveal a black tank top and six daggers strapped to her arms.

"I guess I should take these off." She also took a dagger out of each of her boots, and one that was strapped to her thy. Finally she removed the gold bracelet, that when stretched, turned into a spiked garrote. "I made every weapon I'm wearing." She handed the garrote to Natasha who was in awe of all the weapons she had fit on her person. Sophia stepped in the ring. "When do we stop?" and Natasha answered her.

"When I say so. Okay start on 3. 1," Sophia got in her stance "2" Tony started to shake "3" Sophia was flying at him, She punched him in the neck and then in the stomach and he doubled over. She delivered a roundhouse kick to his back and he fell foreward only to have his neck strangled with her thy. She punched him in the eye. end he fell down on his back. He made a terrible attempt to punch her and was blocked. She swung her foot towards his face and hit him with a wack. Before he knew it, she had him in a headlock, and Natasha was calling stop. Tony collapsed on the ground and saw Natasha standing over him

"SAY IT!" The assassin demanded.

"Im sorry I gave you those chocolates and made fun of you, you didn't deserve it and I will never do that to you again." Tony babbled.

"Very good." Natasha said and left with her arm around Sophia "Ill send the doctor to you." She said with a sneer.


End file.
